hotel room ftw
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
