Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
