what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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