i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
