My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
