Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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