We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
