Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I could fuck to npr.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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