I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
