Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
