i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
