Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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