That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
