It's Friday. Sex?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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