what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
