Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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