So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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