Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
