i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
