Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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