i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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