...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
