I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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