Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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