You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
