My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
