nut hugger
if you like me you must not know who I am
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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