hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
