She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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