im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
