Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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