the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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