Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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