We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
