his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
