Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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