hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize