so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
