u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
