You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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