Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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