I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
