thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
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What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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