oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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