wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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