Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
