i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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