WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
