Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

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(631): View more from New York

I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

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(205): View more from Alabama

This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me

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(713): View more from Texas

I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk

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(360): View more from Washington

I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign

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(312): View more from Illinois

All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.

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