thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
