Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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