In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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