I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
