Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
