i think my mom watched the whole time
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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