were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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