Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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