ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
