I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize