Your mouth is God's brothel.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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