i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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