Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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