so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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