I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
